Things to Do Before Turning 40: My 40/40 List

i’m so excited for my 40th birthday on april 4th. before you say that i don’t look 40, please save the compliment. i don’t mind aging and think the complex society puts on womxn regarding their worth related to their age is a result of white supremacist hetero-patriarchy. chile i ain’t got the time.

i’m about to be 40 and fabulous. period.

to settle into this new decade of life, i made a list of 40 things that i wanted to accomplish. it’s gonna be hard to do everything before april 4th, but that’s my goal, and i’m sticking to it. join the journey over on instagram and my youtube channel.

My 40/40 List

1. attend a music festival — this one is gonna be tricky since it depends on COVID restrictions. however, i’d love to attend a music festival like smokin grooves in los angeles in march.
2. spend two-weeks abroad — i really wanted to travel extensively after my breast cancer treatment, but i had to return to work full-time. since i’m a solopreneur, i can create my own schedule now which is beneficial for long-term travel. i’m planning to add about ten days to my birthday trip to make this a reality.
3. go on a hot-air balloon ride — i’ve always wanted to experience a hot air balloon ride. the colors alone are breathtaking, and i can’t imagine seeing the world that high. i’m planning to take this ride while traveling abroad.
4. take a mixology class — i love a good cocktail, and it’s time that i learn how to create speciality drinks. i’m itching to amp up my knowledge about spirits and acquire some great recipes.
5. volunteer with a local organization — i’ve already signed up for volunteer orientation at a local organization called hips that supports communities impacted by sex work and drug use through a harm reduction framework. it’s literally been on my list to support them other than financially for years, and i’m so excited to get started.
6. begin renovating our master bathroom — girl it’s time. check out our house tour here, and you’ll notice how much work our master bathroom needs. it was on my wishlist in 2021, but we gave ourselves time to just settle into the house. we’re starting 2022 by working with a designer to make this renovation project happen.
7. get my eyebrows microbladed — as a breast cancer and 1990s survivor, my eyebrows are done. they’re super thin and my face looks bare without applying a brow pencil. i’ve already made my appointment to get this semi-permanent tattoo process done and paid the deposit. wish me luck!
8. visit with friends — we always say we’ll see the people we love, but life gets in the way. i’m taking at least two trips before my birthday to spend quality time with friends.
9. buy a nespresso coffee maker — my mom got me a nespresso! this item was on my 40/40 list because i really want to get into good coffee. i’ve had it for a few days, including the heated milk frother, and it’s everything.
10. try new exercises — i love pilates and yoga, but i’d also like to explore other forms of exercise. my best friend and i are gonna give a round of classes a try in february.
11. spend a week in miami exploring investment properties — i’m from florida and have lots of family in and around miami. it’s been my dream for awhile to have a dope condo in south florida that can also serve as short-term rental. i’d like to spend a week not only enjoying the sun, but also meeting with a realtor to determine some of our options.
12. eat dinner at the inn at little washington — i’ve heard about this restaurant for years and can’t wait to visit. it is the first and only three michelin star restaurant in the washington, dc metro. the food is supposedly exquisite, and it also has an adjacent bed and breakfast.
13. laser hair removal — i already have my first laser hair appointment scheduled with michelle german of german aesthetics. she’s an amazing medical pa who specializes in laser treatments, botox and fillers. i’m focusing on my bikini area so i can be carefree on a yacht during my birthday trip!
14. new tattoo — i want to get a timeline of the years that great women were born on my forearm. i keep procrastinating, but it’s time. i’m not waiting any longer and can hopefully have a new tattoo by the end of this month.
15. try mushrooms with a friend — i’m all about anything with healing properties that comes from the earth. me and my bff are gonna microdose mushrooms soon for some enlightenment. let’s pray for a good trip!
16. attend an adult party (catch my drift) — not going into detail here because y’all already know what time it is #thotlife.
17. attend a wellness retreat — at first, i was thinking a silent retreat would be dope, but that wouldn’t be very exciting content to capture lol. instead, i’m open to pretty much any type of wellness retreat that speaks to me.
18. go skiing — i’m super hype to go skiing with my friends. the closest i’ve come to skiing is snow tubing which i’m pretty sure doesn’t count. of course, the most exciting thing about this experience will be my outfit.
19. go a week without alcohol — i’d like to press reset on my alcohol consumption and go a week without it. not only will it help with my sleep, but i’m also looking forward to it shedding these seven pounds of quarantine weight. letting those empty calories go will be a big help.
20. spend special time with my grandma — when you come from a large family it can be hard to spend time alone with folks. i’d love to spend some special time with my grandma this year. i’m thinking we’ll book a suite at the ritz and sip champagne while getting mani/pedis.
21. spend special time with my mom — i’d also really like to spend quality time with my mom possibly during my time abroad. it’s gonna be fun to do the bougie things we love like buying candles and eating over-priced charcuterie plates.
22. start my book — i’ve been blogging for a decade, and this platform alone could be turned into a book. i’m excited to actually explore creating a proposal for a series of books focused on my commitment to style, social justice and self-care.
23. get my life affairs in order (will and life insurance) — having a will and life insurance is more important than ever before now that we own our first home. as an attorney, i’m pretty comfortable with creating my own will, and i’m actively looking for the best life insurance for business owners.
24. take a class to learn a new skill — i’m already signed up for a six-week beta course with my girl monique melton. she’s going to dig deep into how to create a profitable online course, and i can’t wait to launch something amazing soon.
25. get a tailor made look by a black designer — as a fashion girl, getting a custom look is a dream come true. i’ve already reached out to a local designer, and i’m excited to share the final look with y’all.
26. treat myself to great sheets — my 40th year is the year of upgrade. all household goods will be only the best including sheets. i’m embarrassed to say that i’ve only ever purchased sheets from target or a discount store like home goods.
27. start a scholarship fund — i really want to invest in future generations from my small hometown by starting a scholarship fund for black lgbtq youth.
28. buy ice skates and start skating — i had more fun than my goddaughter ice skating in november. it reminded me of the hours i would spend roller blading as a kid. i’m gonna grab some skates from amazon and hit the ice.
29. hire a personal chef for a weekend — i’m pressed to wake up in the morning to the smell of a personal chef cooking. i’ve already set this wheel into motion for my birthday trip, and i’m thinking about adding a personal bartender too lol.
30. book a spontaneous trip — as you can see, travel is playing a recurring role on my list. it’s one of my biggest hobbies, and i’ve promised myself to spend more money on experiences than material items this year. i’m planning to pop up at the airport in march and take a trip wherever i feel like like flying (most certainly some place warm).
31. have a special day with onraé — i’d love to spend a special day with onrae without any expectation of creating content or work. she loves physical activities and going to the movies so we’ll definitely incorporate things we’ll both enjoy.
32. get a spiritual reading done — i don’t know much about this process, but i’d like to get it done preferably by a BIPOC person. it would be dope to get a deeper understanding of myself from this lens.
33. buy myself a beautiful piece of jewelry — i’ve been dreaming about a piece of jewelry this year. i have so many items on my wishlist until it’s overwhelming. i’m stacking my coins for the perfect piece.
34. get some nice pajamas — again, i’m upgrading all of the necessities in my life this year, including pajamas and robes. i need to luxuriate in the finest silk during my 40th year lol.
35. try lymphatic massage — i don’t know much about lymphatic massage, but i’m down for anything that can help my body eliminate toxins. plus, i love massages so this seems like a win-win.
36. organize all drawers and closets in my house — organization is my jam, and it irks me to no end to have spaces in my home that aren’t organized. i’m looking forward to spending time getting all of my closets and cabinets together.
37. buy myself a new tote bag for travel — i need an easy tote that zips for travel that i don’t mind getting dirty. recently, i’ve noticed that my small dior booktote is taking a beating on the handles. plus, it doesn’t fit on my shoulders. i’m looking for a tote that checks all these boxes and have been thinking about a vintage fendi version.
38. transform my balcony — our balcony was a big selling point of our condo; however, we’ve barely given it any love. it needs plants and comfy furniture in order for us to really enjoy the space.
39. invest in a new desk — my current desk was a temporary fix that i just haven’t invested time into replacing. it’s an “L” shape that’s too dark and makes the corner feel cluttered. i’m thinking about something lighter in color that’s more modern.
40. have an epic 40th birthday celebration — last, but certainly not least is my birthday celebration. all i’ll say is it’s gonna be a movie.

i hope this list encourages womxn to embrace aging and live more boldly. let me know down below what’s on your bucket list!

What I’m Wearing