many of you know that i’m a trained attorney, but what you don’t know are the struggles i faced after graduating from law school. i suffered through lots of fear and just knew at any moment people would realize i wasn’t smart enough for my new career.
plus, being one of only a few black people — sometimes THE only — made the mental toll even deeper.
negative beliefs about myself caused me to see negativity everywhere. i thought the organization, my bosses, judges and colleagues all hated me. i thought i was a mediocre lawyer and was constantly failing my clients.
today, i know these beliefs were far from the truth. in fact, unlike my white colleagues, my diverse lived experiences made my perspective even more valuable to the organization.
READ: Spring Clean Within: How to Declutter Your Fucks
almost a decade after graduating law school, i know this feeling is called imposter syndrome and a feeling that plagues many womxn. once we add marginalized identities such as, race, sexual orientation and differing physical abilities to the list, then you’re left with an intersectional inferiority complex.
so how did i get over it? well, it took time. however, i’m fortunate that today my feelings of being an imposter are behind me. i recognize the challenges that a new experience might bring, but those hurdles aren’t a result of my inadequacy. actually, i now believe that i already have everything that i need to prevail.
Three Ways to Overcome Imposter Syndrome
1.) recognize your limiting beliefs. don’t run from them.
there’s a difference between being an imposter and having imposter syndrome. we’re not con artists. we’ve earned our credentials and a seat at the table. in fact, for marginalized communities we’ve very likely earned the ENTIRE damn table.
over the years, i’ve learned that ignoring my feelings of inadequacy only made me feel more inadequate. i had to take time to lean into my fears and dig deeply into their source.
my therapist helped me to recognize and unpack my limiting beliefs through an ongoing process of self-reflection. one day, i made a list of all the negative things that i believed about my capabilities. there was something about seeing these beliefs in writing that gave them a new light. i begin to realize that they were complete nonsense.
recognizing my limited beliefs allowed me to leave them behind.
2.) develop a daily affirmations practice. each and every one of your self-doubts are fake. period. reminding yourself of all the reasons you’re dope AF is a good way to actually believe this fact. make a list of all the positive attributes you want to believe about yourself and read or say them aloud daily. now watch yourself actually begin to manifest these words. if you need help with a list of affirmations, then check out this post or download my 21-day happiness project.
READ: Top 35 Lessons from 35 Years of Life
3.) be willing to see things differently. my therapist had a habit of calmly asking me this question: are you willing to see this situation/habit/belief/person differently? it always stopped me in the middle of a rant because i had to press reset. of course, i could see things differently.
by moving away from my default perspective of fear and inadequacy my reality could shift. when you’re in the middle of a self-hate session stop for just a second to ponder the same question.
we must give ourselves the grace to make mistakes. i was talking to my best friend’s husband this morning, and he reminded me that not knowing how to do things is the key to actually knowing how to do things. only when we make mistakes are we truly learning.
the culture of perfectionism in our professional environments is toxic and often reinforces our imposter syndrome. the issue is not you sis — it’s them.
i hope these tips help you to feel more confident. you deserve every opportunity sent your way and the success that is destined to come. drop your tips for overcoming imposter syndrome down below.
Your words of wisdom are always right on time. Thank you.
Author
so happy they spoke to you!