thanksgiving is right around the corner, and i’m blessed to be hosting my entire family for the first time. it’s about to be a lot of love, laughs and good food. however, our celebration will be in the face of a huge loss.
at only 21, my younger cousin, more like nephew, was killed in a horrific accident. this will be our first holiday season without him. just writing that sentence hurts.
i could ignore this pain or lock myself in my bedroom for thanksgiving and christmas, but neither will change the very hard realization that he isn’t coming back.
the best way to conquer my holiday blues is by choosing me.
READ: The Healers Who Got Me Through Breast Cancer
feeling sad around the end of year holidays is an emotion that lots of folks feel. holiday depression is real and according to health.com it’s most often triggered by grief and money problems. i can definitely attest to experiencing both over the years.
even if you don’t celebrate holidays, the end of the year can be a time that we beat ourselves up. recognize that you’re right where you’re supposed to be, and check out the three tips below to help conquer your holiday blues.
how to conquer the holiday blues by choosing you
1. validate your emotions by recognizing them. it’s too easy to channel our sadness into anger or anxiety. since my loved one passed away, i’ve had days when i’m feeling anxious, lonely and irritable. these emotions don’t pass until i spend some time interrogating them. most often, the root is grief. we can’t address what we fail to recognize.
2. create new holidays and traditions.
just because we grew up celebrating holidays in a particular way doesn’t mean we’re stuck in that way of thinking forever. if traditional holidays are tough, then create a new tradition that feels good to you and the ones you love.
for example, i’ve heard countless friends in their late 20s and 30s complain about how much they hate traveling home for thanksgiving. my answer: don’t go. host a friendsgiving, volunteer, watch netflix and chill — whatever you decide, make it your own. your mom will just have to deal.
3. practice saying no.
saying no can be especially hard this time of year because of more outside pressures than normal. let’s say you’re torn between families, you can’t afford holiday gifts or you’re tired as hell from the end of year grind, one simple word can transform your life: no.
telling friends, family and even yourself “no” this holiday season can be one of the best ways to choose you. we sit through uncomfortable meals and spend money we don’t have this time of year all for other people. what if you did something radical this year and simply said “no?” i guarantee the world won’t stop spinning.
if you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts or signs of deep depression please seek help. the national suicide prevention hotline is a good place to start: 1-800-273-8255.
shop this post