i lowkey hate the phrase “new year, new me.” it ignores all the dope shit i did in the previous year and makes me feel like i should want to change something about myself — even if i don’t. sure, i’m not perfect, but i’m happy and thankful. instead of wanting to create a new me, i want to fall deeper in love with me.

while i created goals for 2017, i focused on being mindful, gentle and reasonable.

READ: How to Plan for 2017

here’s what i’m keeping in mind to map my journey:

5 tips for setting goals

1. let go of mistakes. everything i did has already been done. so why look back? dwelling in the past causes us to deny the present and opportunities to shape a better future. instead of kicking ourselves for picking up another pack of cigarettes or wasting time with a trifling partner, celebrate the fact that you’re ready to move on.
2. set a reasonable time line.  my personal goals end up being dead missions when i create unreasonable timelines. whether trying to tighten up my savings habits or build politics & fashion, i want everything NOW. my impatience ignores all the years it took me to develop unhealthy coping skills and the investment it’ll inevitably take to create new paradigms. remember to be gentle with yourself by leaving room for success in 60 days or 6 months. the reward will be just as sweet.
3. separate fact from fiction. not only does a good goal need a reasonable time line, but the goal itself needs to be achievable. want a butt like serena williams? me too. but guess what, it’s not happening naturally. instead of reaching for unrealistic achievements, set goals that you have the power to achieve and feel good about maintaining. i can’t do 752 squats a day to beef up my backside, but i can drink more water and focus on a healthy lifestyle.
4. lead with affirmations. one of my goals for 2017 is to be more mindful of my blessings. affirmations, like this great list by lauren nixon on black girl in om, motivate me to have a more positive outlook and categorize future success not as the ultimate goal, but the byproduct of my journey towards self-actualization.
5. black girl magic is real. start from a place of dopeness. if you want to quit smoking do it because you’re too fly for lung cancer (ain’t nobody got time for chemo), not because you’re a bad person for being addicted to nicotine. shit happens, and black women’s magic is like gummy bear juice ready to fuel our beauty, resistance and resilience.

let us know your goals for the new year! what do you need to achieve them?