after two weeks of ballet i must admit the painful truth. there’s no chance that i’ll become a professional ballerina. although lean, i’m as flat footed as a dinosaur and all my moves imitate the cupid shuffle. i look a summertime-bbq-doing-the-electric-slide-with-your-aunt-while-she-smokes-a-cigarette-and-holds-a-beer mess.
fortunately, all utility is not lost because each butchered step helps me reach self-discovery. my instructor teaches our choreography once, turns on the music, and leaves the students to their own devices. at first, i felt my face get hot when she suggested that we dance without her walking us through each step. instead of succumbing to the ensuing fright, i started flailing about in circles, bending my knees, stretching out my arms, playing hopscotch…doing whatever my heart desired with reckless abandonment. so much of my life has been about “getting it right,” but this time, i just said eff it.
this week’s lesson: in order to learn something new, you have to allow yourself to lose control. this concept is instinctive, but once humans develop egos, we become much more concerned with how others perceive us, and less inclined to risk making a fool of ourselves. well, that’s just a silly reason not to try something new, especially when foolish is often a synonym for confidence.
i almost missed this week’s class–it was cold and i’d had a long day. thank goodness i changed my mind because afterwards i came home full of energy. the best part is that i got some coaching while practicing in front of the mirror and holding my invisible bar.